06 Apr Armageddon XV
With COVID-19 wrecking havoc on the 2020 John I Dent Cup and everyone’s lives in its own way, Vikings Rugby thought it necessary to take action. We decided to assemble an Armageddon XV – those people at our Club that we felt were best suited to fight this virus head on. Our Armageddon XV will be taking on the COVID-XV every Saturday until Australia’s social distancing measures are lifted, and we can all go back to playing the game we all love. Until then, stay home, stay safe, and let our Armageddon XV do the work!
1. Sione Taula (2018 Premiership winning Prop, 100+ 1st Grade games for the Club)
We find it hard to believe that even COVID-19 would choose to mess with Sione. One of the Club’s most decorated Props was (is) the most fearsome player on the paddock and absolutely destroyed his opponents in defence – although he’ll be taking up hand sanitizer and anti-bacterial spray as his weapon, Sione’s experience as a solid defender is invaluable to this team.
2. Ian Chattin (Joint 2019 Clubman of the Year)
Although not currently involved with the Club, Chat’s increased engagement on the Vikings Facebook page indicates that he is practicing effective self-isolation and is well equipped for taking on COVID-19.
3. Geoff ‘Ogre’ Adam (C) (Club Vice-President/300+ Games for the Club)
Ogre recently completed his 14-day quarantine due to being in close proximity of a person diagnosed with COVID-19 (luckily Geoff was tested and his results came back negative). To this writer’s knowledge, he is the only person at the Club with any real COVID-19 experience and for that reason has also been designated as Team Captain.
4. Dr Ewen Bradbury (Club Doctor)
Doc Ewen was taking extra precaution prior to the outbreak – at the Club’s first trial match, Doc didn’t shake a single person’s hand or butt tap a single player after scoring a try. Doc’s ultimate dedication to social distancing is a valuable asset to this team.
5. Lee Boswell (Club Athletic Performance Manager/Dad Joke Aficionado)
Bozzy is possibly the most prepared for the onset of the virus – he spent a whole Saturday cleaning and preparing the Club’s gym, prior to its shut down, so that the players had a safe, clean environment from which to exercise in. He is also well prepared at home, having devised an effective plan should he or one of his family members contract COVID-19. Be like Bozzy.
6. Grant Lukins (Joint 2019 Clubman of the Year/150+ Games for the Club)
We just can’t not have our Manteena Player of the Year in this team, although it’s likely he will fall into bad habits and let the rest of his pack do the hard work, cherry pick tires and give himself Player’s Player points. Granny’s heart is in the right place, however, and we know as a dedicated Viking he’ll do his part to stop COVID-19. As long as he gets a hattrick out of it.
7. Luke ‘Chainsaw’ Gersekowski (1st Grade Flanker)
C’mon. It’s Lukey G. Everyone wants this man in their Rugby team!
8. Billy Joe Giampaolo (Club Silver Sponsor – King Ape Supplements)
Billy and the team at King Ape Supplements are currently battling COVID-19 with their unique sense of humour, giving everyone positive vibes in these difficult times. It’s exactly what we need right now, so if you’re looking for a laugh or want to support our mates at King Ape, click here. Billy is also a former Australian Deadlift Champion in Powerlifting – we will need an enforcer to scare/throw people back into their homes if they’re breaking social distancing laws.
9. Greg Hayes (1st Grade Manager/Life Member)
Hayesy is your typical germaphobe – because of this and his excellent managerial skills, he is the perfect person to lead this team around COVID-19 from Scrumhalf. Hayesy also demonstrated in a recent video to the playing group that he has the passing skills necessary for this position.
10. Michael Bailey (Club Platinum Sponsor – Carlton & United Breweries)
For those who follow our Facebook page, you would have seen our mates at Carlton just donated 60 000 bottles of hand sanitizer to hospitals and people in need. Bails is a close friend of Vikings, and will represent Carlton at Flyhalf. A good flyhalf needs to be resourceful, which Carlton have proved with their generosity.
11. Kate Wafer (Club Physiotherapist)
As they are considered an essential service, Kate and the team at Performance Edge Physiotherapy are battling potential infection everyday at their clinic, and have thus far avoided COVID-19 with their diligence. Kate has also shown that she has great speed and adaptability, key attributes for a good winger, after being the first to introduce several people at the Club to the Houseparty app so that they can stay connected despite social distancing.
12. Nick Scrivener (Club Coaching Director)
Scriv is the only one physically remaining in the Rugby Office, with Bozzy and Bowdo now working from home. Scriv is preparing to fight from the front line – which, hopefully, means he has given the Rugby Office a fantastic clean.
13. Andrew ‘Chewy’ Dickson (Club’s All-Time Leading Points Scorer)
Chewy knows how to score lots of points quickly, so by this writer’s logic, should know how to help cure lots of people quickly too, should a vaccine be discovered. Lets just hope that when the Armageddon XV gets to it’s ‘kick it and win’ moment Chewy doesn’t fall to the pressure of COVID-19.
14. Dr Peter Cole (Club Doctor)
The Doc has to be in this team, he of all people will know how to fight a virus. Also, should COVID-19 overwhelm our Armageddon XV, he’ll be the first one we choose to sacrifice, being British and all.
15. Elise Wilson (1st Grade Flyhalf Jack Evenden’s Girlfriend/Australian Touch Football player)
God knows how Elise is putting up with Jack showing her all of his 2019 1st Grade highlights in isolation. Her coping abilities and skills as a touch footy player give her the start.
Be sure to let us know who you would have selected in your Vikings Armageddon XV.